I Can Bring a Friend to Yoga, But I'll Never be a Yogi

Ok, I have to admit, I haven't been to yoga much lately. It's a very crowded power yoga class, and what I really want is restorative yoga, or a yoga for runners (and since I already belong to 2 gyms, I don't want to pay extra for a yoga studio). Anyway, I did go to class at the Y with my friend Kelly a short time ago.

She is super-yogafied (it's a word; I'm sure I found it in Merriam-Webster on Urban Dictionary).

Before class, we chatted about different yoga styles and she told me about one that involves lying down and requires very little movement.

Then, for some inexplicable reason, she also asked me to go rock climbing with her.

I mean, she has read this blog.

Once the class started, Kelly was all business.  While we were in Warrior Two I glanced over at her to see if she was enjoying herself.  She was focused on her *drishti...really focused.

*For those who have not done yoga, your 'drishti' is a point a few feet ahead that you look at to help you keep your focus and balance.  You have to be sure to relax your eyes.

Hmm, it's possible I'm thinking of something else.

Anyway, the class continued.  While Kelly expertly executed the half moon, I didn't even bother with the block and just trotted over to lean against the wall.  I still fell over.

I soldiered on as we progressed through our sun salutations.  We were told (as usual) to place our feet 6 inches apart for many of the poses.

Does anyone know what a 6 inch space between your feet is just by eyeballing it?  My yoga instructor seems to. I do not.

I always end up like this:

or like this:

And on the topic of distance, you know-if you do yoga-how you're always supposed to swing your leg forward out of downward- facing-dog straight into a lunge?  Well either my legs are really long (they are not), or my arms are really short (they are not), but either way my leg always gets stuck about halfway through; and the day I went to class with Kelly was no exception.

Once we completed the falling over balancing portion of the class, it was time to get on the floor and work the core.  We did bridges over and over (and over) again.

It sounded like a birthing class with all the deep breathing.

I didn't mind the huffing and puffing in class; we were working hard. But I could honestly have done without the moaning accompanying every movement. Furthermore, the half-hearted, super high-pitched singing along with Celine Dion was not appreciated.

Don't worry, it wasn't Kelly.

Thankfully, I do not ever sing out loud in class, because every time we've done the Superman move, the instructor has said to reach to the window with our hand, and to the wall with our foot.  And then she chants softly:

And then I have Sandra Bullock in my head, dancing around the forest with Betty White.

And that does not help my focus at all.

Ok, holy crap, I just googled that song and wow.  Dirty.


I'm over at Yeah Write this week on the Hangout Grid.  Come check out some other great reads by clicking on the button below!

UPCOMING POSTS:  CHELAN MAN RACE RECAP, LONG RUNS

Wine Before Beer, Have No Fear. Wine Before Yoga...

Well, it's not a good idea.

To be clear, I did not have wine on my way to yoga; it was the night before.  But more on that in a moment.  In order to finish the title of this post, I needed to go back to my Twitter feed.  When I wrote my last yoga post, I took to the Twitterverse for a title idea, saying nothing rhymes with yoga.

See?  I then decided on a title, but shortly thereafter got a series of responses:

Oh, right.  

Sooo, Wine Before Yoga, You Might Want a Toga!

Or, maybe not.

You see, one sunny Saturday afternoon not so long ago, TriGuy and I were spending a lovely day together.  We had a little glass of wine.  We went out that night and had some apps and a bottle of wine.  The waitress came by and refilled our glasses.  That made 3 glasses of wine for me in one day.

This did not help with balancing.

The next day I went to power yoga.  It was good!  Surprisingly so.  But there was more balancing. My sorry little glutes did not want to do the work required.  I used the block.

It did not help.  You know what else didn't help?  The teacher saying "I find the block sometimes makes balancing even harder."

And, you know what makes it even worse? Laughing at how ridiculous you feel but trying to stay quiet so as not to disrupt the class.

Yoga is  one of those things that you are always supposed to be working on, so I will continue to learn.  And I have oh-so-many confusing moments to discuss about yoga, such as how to measure distance on my mat.

But we'll save that discussion for another time.



UPCOMING POSTS:  BLOGGER MEETUP AND RUNNING WITH FRIENDS

When Good Yoga Goes Bad

Edit:  I'm submitting this post to Yeah Write this week!  It's a great weekly writing forum where you find tons of great posts.

When I was 21, I went to my very first yoga class with my mom.  When it comes to coordination, I am the Fric to her Frac.  The Tweedle-Dee to her Tweedle...uh, she can be Tweedle-Dee.

Hi Mom.

When she would go to aerobics back in the day, she would have GymSis and I in stitches as she explained how she would go left when the rest of the class would go right, how she would go forward when they would go backward, and how she was supposed to clap and step:

(I just had to add in our 90s teased bangs.) 

Then, one day I went to Zumba and knew, without a doubt, that I was not adopted. But that is a post for another time.

Anyway, I've done yoga on and off since that first class with my mom, and after this recent course of physio, I knew that starting again would be wise in order to keep me strong, limber(ish), and injury-free.

I skipped on over to my gym for an evening class. Their Biggest Loser program was meeting at the same time as yoga.  As I sat in the all-purpose exercise classroom, I was quite sure there was a bowling tournament happening outside the door.  What happened to not dropping the weights on the floor??

If you've been to yoga, you know that every instructor has her own style.  I have never been to a class, though, that just jumped right in to strengthening exercises.  No 'meditation' to start? Hello,  I need to centre myself before just jumping in.

Well, maybe not quite to that extent, but I am used to easing in to my sun salutations and I felt unprepared.

Our instructor started the calm, soothing music she was going to use for the class.

Not exactly sure how you scratch a CD.

Now that the mood was fully disrupted (wait, it was never set to begin with), it was time for the bell ringing.  This occurred at random times throughout the class. I am not sure what the goal was, but I did start to get a bit peckish.

After our warm-up, it was on to some balancing poses.  I don't know what this one was called, but here is the teacher doing it:

We were given a variation to use our straps if we couldn't reach.  I awaited further instruction.

The beginner crutch was to go stick your leg on the barre.

 I will just call this one "Posture Impossible".

One of the things I had forgotten about yoga was how tough it can be to keep your focus.  For example, sometimes you have to look up while you are bent over at the waist...hinging from the waist, if you will.  You will be looking straight ahead at the person ahead of you. And at that moment you are aware that there is someone behind you who has that same view...of you.

The horrible great! thing about the class was that there was a mirror so I could adjust my form.  So while feeling like a "princess" in Warrior Two (see what I did there? Warrior Princess...??) ,

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and noticed a few adjustments were needed.

Why look! It's the Athletic Stance!  I did everything I could to tuck my butt, but it just seems to enjoy sticking waaaaay out.

I went back to class the following week and it was hot, crowded and just horrible.  And, there was no Sivasana (a.k.a. Corpse Pose). Are you kidding me? I can actually do that one!

So I've found a new class at the Y.   So far, so good!

Oh, and I thought I would have some fun with Picnick before it goes away; in case you missed it on Facebook and Twitter, I jumped on the meme bandwagon:

Anyone have any good yoga stories to share?


Please tell me you got the bell-ringing/hunger reference.

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