Monday, January 14, 2013

I Will Bowl You Over with My "Unbelievable" Bowling Skills

I think in order for you to fully appreciate the events I am about to recount, you should be familiar with a little background on my bowling experiences.

1.  My parents were part of a bowling league when I was young.

2. Although no one has ever heard of it, where I grew up we had 5 pin bowling lanes.  The balls were very small (no finger holes).

3.  I broke my nose when bowling as a teenager.  Not with the ball, but I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and accidentally got punched in the face.

So, as much as this might (not) shock you (at all), I don't bowl much and when I do, it's nothing to write home about.

Well actually, maybe it is.

Here is what went down: (if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you already know a little of the story)

It was my friend Erika's birthday.

Go Erika, it's your birthday/ We gonna party like it's your birthday/ Gonna drink Bacardi like it's your birthday...

Of course I'm not going to tell you her age; I want to keep her as a friend.

She invited an eclectic group to celebrate, and bowling was the activity to bring us together. (Oh, and the activity of drinking.)

Since I can't drink beer, I asked for a super girly cocktail.  It was called the "Pear-adise Martini" or something, and even though I'd never had it before, it tasted familiar.  Christy got one too and identified the flavour almost right away.

I'm not entirely sure that was a good thing.  And yes, I really did spill my drink...I'm all about "one for my homies." (Ok, the truth is that those glasses are really wide and they fill them to the brim and I can't hold cups upright.)

Once it was time to bowl I picked out the lightest ball I could find, and made my way over to the start line foul line starting block

You all know what I mean.

Anyway, I got to that spot and threw the ball.

Threw, lobbed, same diff.

Despite the fact that it looks like my ball was headed straight down the middle, it was a stunning gutterball.  Sadly, people weren't paying attention.

So I did at again.

At least people were starting to watch me now.

On my next turn I managed to hit a pin.  One pin.

My new friends Lauren and Emily were starting to provide words of advice.

Will do!


Okie dokie!

I watched the talented people like Erika, Christy, and TriGuy bowl spares and strikes, until I started to rub off on them.

I sure was making a heck of a first impression.

I decided it was time for a new strategy, like maybe a heavier ball.

Scratch that.

On the very last frame, I went with Erika's advice and did a granny toss.


Ok fine, I didn't get a strike, but I did get 7 points.

Oh, and just in case you're an "I have to see it to believe it" kind of person, here you go.  I'm "J".

I'm pretty sure that's some kind of a special record. 


I am going to try my hand at being a "Dudette" this week over at Dude Write!

Want to read some great blogs?  Submit your own?  Head on over to Yeah Write with me!


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