Sunday, May 15, 2011

Partner Up!

When I was younger there was a commercial on T.V. for Marineland.  It is an amusement park in Niagara Falls.  While showing all the different attractions at the park they sang a little ditty.  "Happiness iiiiiis...a great big kiss" (as  a little girl gets slobbered by a leaping killer whale) "Happiness iiiis seeing friends you miss!  Happiness iiiiiiiiissssssss...Marineland!"

Well for me,

Sorry, had to jam the words together to make them fit the song.

As soon as I have to share a lane, I start to waste energy checking for a third person to join, causing the dreaded CIRCLE SWIM. Bah. It means I have to keep up with get out of the way of the inevitably faster swimmers.

If you lane swim, you are familiar with how the process works.  Typically there are designated lanes based on speed:

Coincidentally, the slow lane is where they do the kiddies' swim test.  This lane is also known as Are You Faster Than a First Grader? (I am not.)

First, you must choose your lane, and you'd best choose wisely. See, it's not just your speed you're deciding on, it's also the speed of the swimmers who are already in the lanes. In other words, their choices will affect your choices.

As a special treat for you (the best readers in the world!), today you have your choice of who you want your lane partner to be. Remember, chOoSe WiseLy.

Ready?? O!K!

Option A:
The Racer (ray-sir): this person swims in the medium lane but should be in the fast lane. She constantly laps you, making you feel like you oughta be wearing floaties to be allowed in the pool.

Option B:
The Sprinter (sprin-ter): (close cousin to the racer) this person only swims for about 10 minutes but insists on swimming right behind you at all times.  He frequently has to stop and do breast stroke because you're *too slow*. You can hear him sighing under water, but he refuses to pace himself so that there is a decent distance between you.

Option C:
The I Always Swim in the Middle of the Lane Because I Need to Swim Directly Over the Line. Always.  Person (aye-awl-waze...meh, you can all read the title): this person does not understand or care about the fact that when she swims in the middle, you have to scootch over to the rope to avoid crashing into her.  Of course, in the meantime you are getting intimately acquainted with the person in the next lane.

Option D:
The Sneak (sneeeeck): this person decides on a whim to just swim a couple of laps before heading to the hot tub. One minute you're enjoying your swim managing not to drown, the next minute (and 30 seconds) later, you turn around at the wall and you're suddenly confronted with this:

So.  Who did you choose?  For the record,  I just got back from the pool and was lucky enough to have all four in my lane today!

Oh, and just for laughs, I looked up that commercial on YouTube.  Behold! 



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