Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Send the Men in the White Coats

And tell them to bring their pint-sized butterfly nets.

I have gone back to spin class.  Twice. And let me just tell you, it has *not* gotten easier.

The 2-minute "warm-up" is really nothing more than a way to weed out the wussies (and I totally want to wuss out but the bikes are in a circle so everyone would see me leave.)
Now, if you decide to stay for the rest of the class, you are in for a treat an hour of pure torture.

OK, here's the thing.  I use up my first wind in those first two minutes and my second wind never quite finds its way. Perhaps that has to do with the fact that the cycle studio is always safely tucked away at the top of the stairs. Which means, I spend a good part of the class hatching plans for how to get back down the stairs at the end of the session. It has come down to these top contenders:




And by the way.  All that fancy *standing* on the bike gives me some serious stitches on my right side.  Which leads me to believe that I may not be exactly, what in some circles you might call, totally upright?  

Why hello, athletic stance.

Also: why must we increase the resistance each and every time we move in and out of the seat?  Can I tell you a secret?  But, you have to promise it will just stay between us, ok?  

*Sometimes*...I cheat. See, what I do is, I put my hand on the resistance knob, and I just pretend to turn it up.   (Oh, the shame.)

(Or, on only the rarest of occasions...I turn it DOWN.  But that, uh, almost never happens. Nope.)

By the way, all that pedaling and bouncing around makes the room just a tad bit warm, so there are about 10 fans blowing on you at any given time.

Hmm?  What's that? Oh, ok.  FINE.

Yup, that's more like it.

The last teacher I had kept telling us to do something more challenging ridiculous in one minute increments.  In what I can only assume was a ploy to have us obey her commands, she repeatedly said

Really?  Wow, me too.

After the second class I asked the teacher how long it takes before you start to feel know, not feel like you have cycled through the nine circles of hell, a trip from which you will never quite recover physically or psychologically (or something to that effect).  She cheerily told me to stick with it, saying it *only* takes SIX classes to get accustomed.

Really?? 'Cause I'm pretty sure crackheads need fewer hits to develop a full-blown addiction.


PLUS: AN EDIT TO SOME OF LAST POST'S PICTURES (Because it's my blog and I can do that if I want to :D...Thanks Ann, Ann-Marie and Rachel)


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