Sunday, April 5, 2015

"What Exactly are You *Doing* in the Sauna?" and Other Locker Room Questions

Hey there! I know I've been barely blogging and I've really missed you guys! I hope you'll forgive me, because I have stories to tell!


Ok, here we go!

A couple of months ago I started going to the gym again, mostly for the pool. I usually swim, then hit the sauna, shower, get dressed, and head out on my merry way.

Now, I'm no expert, but my understanding of the sauna is that you sit in there to relax and enjoy the heat.


It would appear that I might be wrong though, because here are some of the things I have seen while in my gym sauna:

1. Loud conversations.


2. Texting.


3. Loud music.


4. Vigorous, and I mean vigorous, exercising.


My friend, Adrian, did point out that this girl could have been cutting weight for a fitness or bikini competition.

5. Vigorous...drying.


You know what's worse than avoiding eye contact with someone drying their privates? Accidentally looking down directly AT their privates.


Now let's talk about the showers:

Actually, I realized my issue with the showers is just that: my issue. If some ladies want to chit chat in their birthday suits with the shower curtains open, then more power to them.


Finally, let's discuss these puzzling behaviours in the changing area:

1. Spreading clothes, towels, etc.. across the entire bench.


2. Sitting right next to me as I'm getting dressed.


3. Eating.


Because nothing gets the appetite going like the smell of sweat.

How about you? 
1. What are some of the puzzling or downright annoying things you see in your gym locker room? 
2. Are you footloose and fancy-free about your nudity?
3. Gents? What goes on in the men's locker rooms?
4. Is it me? Maybe I just need to start yelling "Get off my lawn out of my locker room!"


UPCOMING POSTS: BIKING CLIPPED IN, CADENCE RUNNING

20 comments:

  1. Welcome back! I just assumed you had floated on to other endeavors. Since you left, I've moved on to a new URL (strangelynaked.com) but I seem to only be able to comment as my old nom de plume.
    I like to think I'm open-minded, but there is so much in this post that appalled me. Isn't bringing electronics into a sauna ill-advised at the least? And the mopping of the meat curtains is simply an astounding lack of shame or communal decency. And who eats in a locker room!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, still hanging on. I wonder about people's phones in the sauna too! Lots of grossness in ladies' locker rooms.

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  2. Our locker room at our gym is the holy vortex of weird behavior. People going to the bathroom with stall doors open, measuring and weighing themselves in the nude, and carrying on full conversations with me while completely naked seems to be the favorite thing to do of the over 60 crowd. I don't get it. I'm the prude who changes in private and generally wants to pretend there's nobody in the locker room but me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah closing the door while going to the bathroom would be nice...that's insane. I'm with ya on pretending to be alone, Jerusha!

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  3. I have witnessed all the same behaviors in the sauna (and definitely second the phone in the sauna being ill-advised because of the heat) and it both freaked me out bothered me to all get out because all I wanted was some quiet, zen-like experience. Apparently the sauna is not the place to go to relax and unwind after a workout.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It makes me feel so old, but the thing is, it's not just young girls/women bringing their phones in. I have no idea how they don't overheat.

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  4. Nope nope nope nope none of that is ok nope. Reason number 1012323 I don't do gyms. Also, so much foot fungus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know--this is my problem! But I do wear super thick rubber sandals to hopefully stave off the fungus because ew.

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  5. I was going to say that at least your sauna-mates had clothes on, but ... The eating is the most perplexing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well one of them did NOT have clothes on. But the eating. I just can't get behind it.

      Delete
  6. Like you, I just want to schvitz and be ignored ... quietly. One behavior that you can add to your list of wierdness is when nekkid lady personages dry their lady privates with the blow dryer standing with one leg up on the bench while so doing. Awwwwkwaaard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh, yes. I used the see that at the Y. I forgot about that. The hair dryer privates-drying is awkward and yucky. They always have one leg up and akimbo to get good aim. Bleh.

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  7. I've done some stretching (including full-on Yoga poses) in the sauna, but I have to admit, I probably wouldn't be able to if there were other people present, and I'm German(-Canadian)... you know, that country where the saunas are nude and co-ed...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well hey it you're on your own I think you have a lot more leeway. But I have to say, I spent all of my formative years in Ottawa (with a couple in Montreal) and I did not spend time in nude, co-ed saunas. But maybe that's more of a German thing :)

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  8. HILARIOUS but nit if it was me in there!!! :) Lucky for me I go when pretty much nobody is around & I shower at home... I don't trust the cleanliness of my gym showers & sauna. :) I am not all into the nude roaming around thing in the gym locker room - that would NOT be me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I wear shoes the whole time, and the showers do kind of skeeve me out. The hot water is nice though!

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  9. Oh my goodness. This post is too funny! You totally had me chuckling!

    ReplyDelete

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