Perfecting the Dismount

Ok, so typically one would save the term dismount for the pommel horse, the rings, or other gymnastic feats.  But, you'd be amazed at how a relatively simple task such as getting off a bike can be embellished.  If you've been following my posts, you know that one way to stop is by crashing.  The more popular method for me in the early days of biking, in order to avoid said crashing, quickly became bailing.  This is a very complex maneuver that, with a little practice, can be completed in ten easy steps.  (It's putting them all together that takes a little perseverance.)

Step 1:  Notice upcoming obstacle.

Step 2:  Hyper-focus on obstacle by initiating tunnel vision.

Step 3:  At approximately 10 feet from obstacle, recall that you have brakes.

Step 4:  At approximately 5 feet from obstacle, begin to apply said brakes.

Step 5:  Upon realizing that you cannot change the laws of physics and/or the space-time continuum,

make a snap-decision to bail.

Here is where it gets a bit tricky, so don't feel bad if you don't get it right on the first try.

Step 6:  Levitate.

Step 7:  Push firmly on the handlebars in order to shove the bike out from under you.

Step 8:  *Gracefully* launch your legs over to one side and prepare to run, thus absorbing the residual propulsive energy you had while still on the bike.

Step 9:  Go retrieve the bike and scrape off the dirt and clumps of grass.

Step 10 (Optional):  Take a bow.  Go ahead...you've earned it after all.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR  THE EPIPHANY