We interrupt the current training flashback in order to discuss...

...SPIN CLASS

Can someone please tell me *what* mother-loving, lactate-burning, Marquis de Sade bitch athlete (ahem, sorry, I don't know what came over me) devised this crazy idea.  What--biking on a path isn't enough for you??

I have a friend who is a hard-core athlete. In her spare time she likes to teach fitness classes at a gym.  She asked me to go to her spin class the other night.  I said "sure", never having gone to a spin class, but thinking it would be a good workout.  Like I said, she is hard-core and very competitive.  I should have known that she would teach a class that would not be for sissies.

It started out easy enough: just sit on the bike and pedal.  Excellent.  Then the music started and suddenly it was all:

Hmm, well ok, I guess I can do that.

Then after about ten seconds I heard it again:

Well hold on now, I thought I just did...say, is there a delayed echo in here?

  But, we just...

  Um, excuse me? Do what now?? 

At this point we were about 2.16 minutes (I'm guesstimating) into an hour-long class, and my legs had turned to Jell-O.

I was alternating between turning beet-red

and nauseated-green.

I felt like I was sweating yet I'm pretty sure the flames shooting out of my skin took care of any pesky *moisture* issues.

And then I heard:

Um, no thanks.  I was afraid of what would come out of my mouth if I opened it at that moment.  It would be either:

OPTION A:

A string of obscenities that would make me sound possessed.

OR

OPTION B:

My lunch.  

Or possibly both (there's a visual for ya).  So I kept my mouth closed and focused on breathing and staying upright on the seat.

Now, for the more astute readers, you may be saying to yourself:  "But Julie (that's my real name, for those of you who don't know me in the real world), you were in a spin class, ergo, you were on a stationary bike,

ergo, staying upright on the seat, a.k.a. *balancing*, should be a non-issue."

Well, you would be wrong.  Or you just wouldn't know me very well.  

You see, at well-choreographed points during the class, the teachers (did I mention there were two of them?) would ask us to sit back, take our hands off the handlebars, and...

Now, is it just me, or does everyone's badonk slink forward the second they sit upright on a bike, like yay? 

So I was sliding down and hunching over like a turtle so I didn't lose saddle contact, and I was expected to put my arms behind my head.

Riiiight.


I did manage to survive the class *and* not slide off.  And, when the teacher asked the class to praise ourselves for something we did well, I was able to come up with two things:

Number One:  Not vomiting!

Yay!!

and, Numero Dos:  Not Passing Out!

Cue applause.

Oh, and the studio was at the top of the stairs.  Since my leg muscles were beyond muscle confusion (let's call it muscle *stupor*), I saw that "walking down the stairs" was not really an option.

Athletic stance to the rescue!!  With a bit of a slant.

P.S. I have mad respect for these spinners.

So, do any of you normal people out there go to spin class?



We will return to our regularly scheduled post next week when we discuss HOW TO DESTROY ALL YOUR HARD WORK IN UNDER AN HOUR

The "Group Ride"

If you recall, the whole reason I started biking was because I had decided to sign up for the Danskin triathlon with some co-workers.  Once the days got longer we started doing weekly bike rides after work.  Our first trip out involved an extreme distance of about 4 whole miles! (all at once, thankyouverymuch).


*Before I go any further, let me just say that I work with some awesomely lovely ladies.  They have been nothing but supportive and encouraging of my "journey", but will be ever-so-slightly caricatured in order to enhance your (my audience's) blog viewing pleasure.


The ride kind of started off a little, well, *off* for me.  I discovered that, while we would be biking on an actual bike path, we were parking our cars in a restaurant parking lot about a half mile away and would have to take a back road to get there.  For the *logical* people in the group, this left two options:


Option A:  Ride on the road

OR


Option B:  Ride on the sidewalk

Then, there was my reaction:

Option C:  PANIC

"We're not right on the path????"

I quickly pulled myself together and decided that, rather than pack my bike back in my car and drive home, never to be seen again, I would just walk my bike to the path. No biggie (as long as I ignored the head-to-toe shaking that only somewhat resembled a person being electrocuted).


I walked my bike on the sidewalk while two of my colleagues did amazing balancing acts and actually biked beside me at my speed.  (I use the term "speed" loosely.)

Once we got to the path I hopped on (still had to work on sticking that landing) and started riding.  I stayed close to the pack (back), basking in my friends' encouraging words, such as "Ride faster!  It's fun!!!"  as they zoomed by.

I managed to finish the ride without crashing once!!  And, though it is quite a blur, I'm fairly certain I executed a *perfect* dismount.