Monday, September 3, 2012

The Indisputable Proof that I am Not Related to Lance Armstrong: ChelanMan Sprint Tri (the bike)

I know you have all wondered about that from time to time, but today I will put all your suspicions to rest.  This is what everyone is talking about Lance for, right?

*If you missed the swim portion of this race and want to see how the day started, click here.

Once I remembered that I was actually IN A RACE, I ran off to find my bike (though I initially thought it was stolen because so many racks were empty...because everyone was already on that portion of the race).

This year, instead doing of my usual wetsuit waltz, TriGuy had taught me a trick.  He said if you step on your suit with one foot, you can pull the other foot right out.


I could probably use a few more lessons.

At any rate, I did make it out of my wetsuit after a good 2+ minutes of tugging and grunting. I threw on my socks and shoes, and grabbed my running hat.  And then I shook my head and put my hat down because what I needed was my HELMET.  I was finally ready and gracefully heaved my bike off the rack.


This year, as compared to last, I actually did run jog my bike up the chute to the bike mount.  And, I did not need a second try to get moving, so that was nice.

The bike ride itself was "flat", comprising of some rolling hills. What that meant was that it would be easy for many people, but many people were riding road bikes, unlike me.  I had my trusty hybrid.  I love my trusty hybrid.  I don't crash on it.  But I also don't go as fast as "many people".


I began to see people with orange race bibs passing me, and already on the return portion.  It was then I remembered that I never put on my race bib.  Oops.  At any rate, orange bibs were for the Try-a-triers.  They had started at least 5 minutes after me and yet were kicking my booty.  It was also highly likely that this was their very first time in a race such as this.  It was disheartening, but I soldiered on.

There was fantastic race support on the course, and even some volunteers handing out water bottles.  I enthusiastically declined.


Because as you know, there was no chance I was taking my hands off the handlebars.  Plus, even if I got the bottle, what was I supposed to do with it?  Pull over, stop, open the bottle, drink, yadda yadda...I mean really, who has time for that?

The only thing that bothered me that day was some of the lack of race etiquette.  I know a lot of people are first-timers, but if they went to the pre-race meeting, they would have heard about drafting.  There were a good handful of people that sped up whenever I started passing them, so I had to seriously bust my hump to get by (usually going uphill) and avoid a time penalty.


The most irritating thing though, was that there was one person who completely blocked me from passing her.  The race course was open to traffic, so I had to slow way down going uphill waiting for the line of cars to go by.  I'm assuming she was oblivious, but I was ticked off.
I may have overtaken her on the last climb as we came upon the cheering crowds.


I finished the bike leg with a smile on my face and hopped off my bike...and then promptly almost fell as my hips buckled.  Yes.  My hips.


They were numb.  I ran chased my bike back down to transition, put on my hat, and finally put my race bib on.


I started the run, heading toward my own cheering section of TriGuy, Ann Marie, and Dr. Tim!  Ann Marie shouted excitedly,


At that moment, I did not concur, as I was dealing with serious brick legs.  If you've never broken into a run within a minute or two of hopping off a bike, you should totally try it.  It's what all the crazy cool kids are doing these days.



Albeit, the cool kids do it a bit more gracefully.


UPCOMING POSTS:  THE FINAL LEG OF THE CHELANMAN, THOUGHTS DURING MY LONG RUNS (now with a giveaway!), WAYS I TORTURE MYSELF

Once again, I'm linking up with Yeah Write.  Click on the button for some great reads!

24 comments:

  1. Wow, those were some bad mannered cyclists! I've never tried a brick, but it sounds like a very strange sensation. Can't wait to hear how the run went!

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  2. Yikes! Those are people were RUDE. And there is no way on earth i'd be coordinated enough to grab water either.

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  3. Amazing! I am so looking forward to the run segment...

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  4. They shouldn't have needed to go to the pre-race meeting to understand the rules of common decency. If you said "on your left," that means you are going at a faster pace then they are and they need to accomodate someone passing them. Grrrrrr, swallow your pride slow pokes!
    You got me mad about a race I didn't participate in that happened well in the past that even you weren't driven to anger about! That's quality writing.
    Are you sure you didn't just abdicate all of your race titles because you were tired of fighting doping allegations, Lance?

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  5. runningonwords: Yeah, I'll say they were noobs--brick legs are an odd sensation indeed!

    Gia: It did seem rude. I don't know how people drink on their bikes!

    Kate: Thanks! It's coming :)

    Pickleope: You are absolutely right. I actually was pretty frustrated. I heard one of Lance's teammates is coming out with a tell-all book this week...

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  6. HAHA! Love this post! Looking forward to the upcoming ones too!
    p.s. brick legs are the worst! Such a weird sensation!

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  7. This was great! Reminds me of my early cycling days when everything I learned was by "trial and error" n he road (OK those days are not THAT far behind me, he he).

    Thanks for a fun post. You have a way of bringing humor to blood, sweat & tears!

    ~Helen

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  8. I love the buckling hips picture! Although, I'm sure it felt pretty awful at the time...

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  9. I absolutely love this!! And yea, those "the rules only apply to everyone BUT me" people are so annoying...and they are at every race!
    You did amazing and I can't wait to read about the run!!

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  10. I have a hybrid too. I know the road bikes are faster, but I would rather be able to go off road if I want. Can't wait to read the next post:)

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  11. Good story. I got to hand it to you for doing this. I have a girlfriend who is a triathlete so I know what the training is like. Your illustrations are terrific. I like the wobbly hips. Looking forward to the next segment.

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  12. Jess: Thanks! It's so weird, right? Experience gets you to the point where you know it's temporary though :)

    aspinchick: Thanks Helen! I seem to have all the wrong instincts on the bike; I need to be more like George Costanza and do the opposite of every instinct I have :)

    IASoupMama: Not awful, but weird for sure :D

    Erika: Well thank you. I am so glad you said that about other racers because I I always think it's because I'm in the sprint distance, and people just don't know any better :)

    hiker mom: I wish I could say that's my reason too, but it's just because I'm steadier on the nubby tires. I'm going to work on that post!

    Stephanie B: Thanks so much. Yeah, my training was not what it should have been, but I did work really hard on a half marathon the month before so I had a decent fitness level going.

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  13. I love your illustrations- they are perfect!!!! I can't wait to hear about the run portion of the race. I hope that your hips got some feeling into them.

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  14. I haven't been by your blog in awhile. I forgot how much your drawings make me LoL. Transitioning in a Tri sounds really stressful and the lack of etiquette would get on my last nerve. I don't know if I would be cut out for the event or not.

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  15. I've never done a tri but I'm sure enjoying your posts! Well done, once again!

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  16. OK well I'm envious of you too - I was out of breath READING that and the idea of doing it just sends me screaming back to the fags and booze and the late nights with Z-list celebrities, thank you very much. Looking forward to the last leg, now!

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  17. explain to me how you avoid cursing and tripping these people. ugh.

    i love your happy face when you come up on the crowds. yay!!!!

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  18. Tasha: Thank you :) Yes, thankfully I didn't have to run the whole time on numb hips!

    Lindsay: Welcome back! Glad to know you still enjoy it here!

    Stacie: Thanks missy!

    paulyb: That doesn't sound like jealousy on your part ;) I do hope you come back, though!

    pensive pumpkin: Karma. That's how.

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  19. This was hilarious. I love your pics!

    I just took up biking and I'm TERRIBLE. But it's so fun.

    Very fun.

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  20. Bahaha! Oh Tri-girl, this post made me laugh! Stolen bike - hilarious! And you look very happy in spite of the hip numbness.

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  21. Shannon: Thanks! It is fun when you're not on the verge of crashing isn't it?

    jennie: Hehe, gotta fake it til you make it? That's my story...yup.

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  22. Brick legs are the worst! On that note, and this is kind of mean, I think someone should create a video just of people getting off their bike and heading out to the run.

    Great job getting through it, Lance Armstrong or not. I'm looking forward to the post entitled "Way I Torture Myself"!

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  23. These always make me laugh! I love the happy face while stating, I can't feel my hips.

    Also, after reading this:
    "I may have overtaken her on the last climb as we came upon the cheering crowds."
    I know you would never stoop so low as to flip her off while pasing, but I hope it was at least done mentally. If not, I just did for you.

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  24. Megan: That would be a hilarious video!

    Vapid Vixen: Thanks for helping out :) You're right I did not flip her off, but I did smile pretty big.

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